A Bitter Sweet Night

By Troy Love

It has been the tradition in our family for me to give Elizabeth a Father's blessing the night before school starts. Because school starts tomorrow, our tradition happened again tonight.  Only this time it wasn't just Elizabeth.

My energetic and full of life little Benjamin starts Kindergarten tomorrow morning.  He enters into a whole new world in less than 24 hours. 

I read something recently that from the moment children come into the world, parents begin to have opportunities to learn to let go.  It doesn't happen all at once, but little by little, year by year parents begin to let go. 

Even though I want to hold on to both of my children so tightly and protect them from the world, I am also very aware of how smothering will only keep them from being who they are.  Steven Stosny identified five core needs we have as humans: the need for appreciation, acceptance, affection, affirmation, and being allowed to be ourselves.  I know how important these needs are in my life and I also know how much my kids need these met as well.

Prior to giving them their blessings, I sat down with each of my kids individually.  Ben informed me that he wasn't afraid to go to Kindergarten and that he is excited about playing on the playground.  He said he was excited to meet new friends.

Elizabeth was more curious. She wanted to know what memories I had from second grade.  Perhaps my most memorable memory was the morning I ran to school because I was late. It was a cold winter morning and by the time I got to school, I was so hot. I thought that a good lick from the cold handrail would cool me down... not so much. My tongue froze to the metal and I had to rip it off in order to get to class.

Elizabeth said that she too was not nervous about going back to school other than wanting to get good grades.  She described the anxiety she feels to get A's in school is like having butterflies exploding on her insides.  She is only 7 and she is already worried about perfection.  I often contemplate just how much pressure we put on these kids.  She said she wants good grades so she can get a scholarship for college when she grows up.

As proud as I am for her to want to be successful, I also want her just to be a 7 year old.  I know that these two kiddos will grow up faster than I want and I know that one day I will really have to let go of them, but just for tonight as I held each one and placed my hands on their heads, I was grateful for this special moment enjoying them just where they are.